Bikini Christmas

So, life has me here in Florida and already a lot has been changing. It hasn't just been the scenery, but also myself. It is going to take a little getting used to, but there's just one thing that I can't get passed. Anyone who knows me knows that I prefer warm weather over cold. Usually when winter comes I look around to find that it's gray, gloomy, all the trees are naked and my body hurts. So, naturally, I lock myself in my room holding tightly to my boogie board and volleyball and peak out the window with one eye until I feel warmth coming through the glass or see happy people prancing about their yards singing show tunes. This year, though, is completely different. I'm commonly still in my, very familiar, board shorts and t-shirt. The trees are mostly still green and lively. People are out and about jogging and such. The skies are blue. The sun is shining. Everything is perfect and I'm not pleased! Believe me I love it to be just like it is now....only in march! I wanna wear my sweaters, dang it! I've got coats, hats, shoes and all kinds of clothes that I never do anything with except for a short period in the year and I feel that's being robbed from me. Just recently I attended a Christmas parade. A normal parade, aside from half of it consisting of tractors and guys in camou on 4 wheelers. What threw me off was that it was, like, 82 degrees outside. I'm sweating and I can't see half the floats from the blinding hot sun! The ginger bread men were being mauled by hunting dogs and the candy was turned into hot fudge and peppermint sauce. I thought maybe, at least, I get to hear some good Christmas music, but then here comes Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine on the Santa Claus float ( Mikes5lives must state that most of this is false and complete dramatazation) with Jimmy Buffet as Santa singing Margaritaville! Look I love warm weather, I love Florida, but I also love Christmas. So, please, let me wear my beanie and a sweater for a week before I get ready to go to a swim park for new years. Oh, and if you're looking for a Christmas present idea for me, how 'bout a bikini.

Back in Style

Hey everyone, Ed Itor here, just wanted to announce that Mikes5lives is back on the press! I know you must be super exciting, but just try and contain yourself. We went through a strike, bankruptcies, lawsuits and forgot that we did this, but it's all good now. Our staff is as happy as ever ( we give them lunch breaks now), so the writing will be fresh, funny, informing and disturbing as usual. Mikes5lives went through a company headquarters move and is now located in Florida, so our text might appear a little more tan. Anyway, you folks buckle up and start subscribing again. We won't disappoint. Sincerely, Ed Itor